The Authentic YES vs. the Authentic NO

One of the number one lessons I have learned from Lyle, my horse coach, is to just be myself. Early in our relationship I walked into the arena with the fake it until you make it attitude. You can only imagine how that thought process didn’t work out in my favor. Horses seek out confident leaders and they know when you are out of alignment because they can feel it.

Confident leadership is a critical component for horses because it equals survival. In the wild it is the leader, the broodmare, that makes the decisions for the well being of the herd. She must be trusted and respected to lead.  She isn’t handed the role lightly – it is earned.

I must earn my role as the boss every time I interact with the horses on my leadership team. Every time my boots land on their turf I am being assessed by the herd as I approach them. I work hard to show up authentically in the present moment, I remind them of who I am and what my purpose is for our time together. I have learned that I am not interested in overpowering these beautiful animals to make them submissive to my commands. I am asking them to follow me, asking them to commit to my leadership and to be a willing partner in our task at hand. The ask is far better than the tell when it comes to working in cooperation and collaboration!

A tool I have used to test my authentic self is to ask myself the following question – Do I authentically want to do this? I insert what ever it is that I am asking of myself. Your emotions will tell you what is right for you. If you feel that the “yes” is good, then you are in alignment and received an “authentic yes”. If you feel off, then you may be receiving a “no”. The tricky part about the “authentic no” is that it is a quiet voice and usually gets drowned out by all of life’s noise. Make sure be in a quiet place so you can clearly hear yourself by pausing, meditating, or journal your thoughts.  Find a calming practice that works for you! Listen to your authentic inner voice!

I love this quote, "Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are." - Brene Brown. 

Until next time – BE AUTHENTIC!  

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